8 Common Characteristics Shared By Dysfunctional Families And How It Would Affects You

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Families are regarded as the backbone of every strong and responsible individual. People who come from good, supportive homes end up way better than those who do not. 

Some families are so perfect it is often wondered if they make mistakes at all. Although the family is where strong moral values are instilled, there are still some families who are dysfunctional.

This means these families are not competent enough to raise strong, responsible individuals. But how can one tell if a family is dysfunctional? There are obvious signs and characteristics that one can pick up if you are observant enough. These signs include

ABUSE

Someone who was raised in a dysfunctional family will tell you that abuse is common in their homes. The abuse can be physical, emotional, psychological or mental. The abusers will believe that the abuse is a way of instilling values through the correction of wrongs. Abuse on children is a way to prevent them from repeating what they must have done wrong. Abuse may not only be on the children, but abuse could also be between the parents themselves, it could be between the parent and the children or even between the children themselves.

NO COMMUNICATION

Communication is vital in every relationship. Whether it is a parent-parent relationship, parent-children relationship or children-children relationship, communication is vital. It makes each member of the family aware of each other’s feelings. In dysfunctional families, there is little or no communication, and this makes it difficult for issues to be resolved between members of families. This will make it easy for disagreements to spring up because there is no means to convey information about how each person feels. In a dysfunctional family with no communication, there is usually no affection or trust between each member.

CONDITIONAL LOVE

The one thing that people associate with family is unconditional love. A family will always be there for you no matter what. But a dysfunctional family will attach conditions to their love. Nothing is for free in a dysfunctional family. You must give sometime to get something back in return. Such love can exist between the children themselves and not just from the parents. In the end, it backfires when a member ends up feeling like they are being used or being cheated.

ADDICTION

Survey has shown that a greater percent of adults who are abusive to drugs, harmful substances or alcohol were exposed to it at very young ages, mostly in the home front. A dysfunctional family is so obvious when one or several members of the family experiment with drugs and alcohol. The children in such families grow up believing that such activities are normal and hence have no problem abusing such substances.

FEAR

In dysfunctional homes, there is always a lingering fear of what to do and what not to do. It usually goes hand in hand with abuse, and this can ultimately raise children who end up having extreme self-esteem issues as adults. They can either be the type of person who is always wanting to please, or the type that is not concerned with the feelings of others. All these and several other negative behaviours come from what they were exposed to in the home front.

LACK OF SUPPORT AND INTIMACY

Every responsible person knows and understands the value of support and intimacy. Understanding this will help children on their path to becoming self – reliant and strong individuals without being clingy or dependent. When a home is built on support and codependency, the members are independent and strong. If all these are absent, the members are clingy, demanding and heavily dependent.

NO BOUNDARIES

When a dysfunctional family does not set reasonable or healthy boundaries, the members end up having no respect for themselves and for others. This is a clear scenario or good example where some individuals who have no problems violating rules and laws where they find themselves, all in the name of exercising their rights. It is as a result of the lack of boundaries set up in their home families.

PERFECTIONISM

The pressure to be perfect is extreme in dysfunctional families and homes. It pushes them to go beyond their limits and blames them when things go south. There is no room for mistakes, as they would be met with punishments, and one cannot just be themselves and savor the love of family. The children end up on the wrong side of self-esteem issues and will find it difficult to express themselves emotionally, not to mention actually trusting people. 

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Emmanuel
I am a young father, enthusiastic media mogul, crime journalist, psychologist, and life coach, this blog is where I put out my work and also on my Youtube channel. For life coaches and articles to help you through hard times please read emmanuelsblog.com. Thanks for reading my blog, I appreciate it and would love to see you back again. send out love to the world.

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