7 Rules For Living With Your Inlaws And How To Make It Work For You

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In several homes, there is always a struggle for balance between the couple and the inlaws, mostly on the side of the wife. 

There is always the issue of the relative or family of one partner popping in unannounced for a visit, differences in opinion between the family of one partner and the other spouse. 

These differences can be resolved. In fact, it is very possible for you as a married man or woman to be at peace with your in-laws and make it work. 

Here are 5 ways you can achieve that.

WORK TOGETHER WITH YOUR SPOUSE

This is undisputedly, the most important thing to do. Whatever idea you choose to take, whatever rules you wish to lay down, you must first iron it out with your partner. You may be surprised to find out that they may not accept those terms. But the aim here is to find common ground and work with it. To be fair, one cannot be happy when their family is being mistreated or is not treated the way they want. 

This will create disagreements between both of you, and place them in a position where they might be tempted to choose between you and their families. And you may not like the outcome. The most appropriate thing to do is to accept your partners family the way they are and make them yours too. When your partner see your efforts, they will greatly appreciate it.

DIRECT COMMUNICATION

When a member of your partner’s family does something that offends you, speak to them directly. Do not go running to your partner to report them. There are issues you should be able to handle directly without involving your partner. Furthermore, whatever issue you have with your in-laws should be addressed as quickly as possible. 

Keeping it bottled up inside of you will only create resentment and hatred which in most cases is uncalled for. The issue you see as a problem might turn out to be a misunderstanding, which can be resolved in minutes. The earlier you address them, the better.

SET BOUNDARIES AND ENFORCE THEM

Living in the house with your in-laws may not be as rosy for some people. For some others, it can be totally fun. You must establish boundaries if you want peace and not clashes between yourself and them. These boundaries is not restricted to just your in-laws, it includes you as well.

 For instance, establishing a boundary of everyone coming home on or before 8pm,does not exclude you. You should be able to follow your own rules and set an example for others. 

This means you should also be home on or before 8pm as well. If for some reason, you break one of your own laws, you should be able to give a reasonable explanation and apology for everyone. That would be a very great example to follow.

MAINTAIN YOUR IMAGE

A lot of people make this mistake in marriage, and that is changing themselves to be accepted by their in-laws. Doing this will place you at their mercy. This is why it is important to create boundaries. Let your in-laws know who you are from the first day. 

Do not try to change anything about yourself in order to please them or get them to like you. If you are not the cooking type, get them to understand that, and possibly show them your good qualities instead of the bad ones. Do not attempt to do things you have not been doing when you were single just to please them, it will end in a disaster, which will not be good for you.

BE KIND

Last but not least, be kind to your in-laws. By virtue of marriage, they have become your family too. You should treat them the same way you would treat your own family even if they are the worst possible kind of people. 

Before you say those hurtful words or remarks, remember they mean the world to your partner and spouse. Sometimes it is best to keep quiet and say nothing. No matter how annoying they can be, just smile and let it go. 

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Emmanuel
I am a young father, enthusiastic media mogul, crime journalist, psychologist, and life coach, this blog is where I put out my work and also on my Youtube channel. For life coaches and articles to help you through hard times please read emmanuelsblog.com. Thanks for reading my blog, I appreciate it and would love to see you back again. send out love to the world.

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