Here’s one. See this man right here? That’s Jeremy Meeks, convicted felon, former gang member, and father.
My answer is going to vary a little different here. I’m going to tell you what happens when you’re married to someone who goes to prison. And what happens when he gets released?
Now let’s start with your life. You meet a man who is smart, intelligent. You’ve gotten out of a relationship. You’re sick of immaturity. You want something more, you want a man.
And here he is. Jeremy Meeks, stunning, with blue grey eyes and cheekbones so chiseled you could slice your fingertip.
What’s the catch?
He’s eight years younger than you. He says he’s dating your maturity. Girls his age just aren’t like you. You’re past that. You fall in love. How could you not?
You get married to him. You have a son.
Then he goes to jail.
It doesn’t really matter why. He’s taken a plea deal. The judge gives him 27 months instead of the 63 because he’s gone viral. The judge wants him to take advantage of it.
During this time, you stay faithful. You made a commitment. It’s hard, raising two sons. (One from a previous relationship.) You won’t lie, you definitely struggled. It hurt at times. You blamed your husband.
On the day he gets released, you’re there for him. That’s what counts right? Your son is so happy to see his father. How could you have ever not been in love with this man?
But things are different now. He’s out of prison. You were loyal by choice, he was loyal because there was no other choice.
Then… he leaves. One day, he just up and leaves. He’s met another girl. She’s younger too. Prettier. She’s never carried a baby before.
You were faithful to him. You waited. He’s your husband. He’s the father of your child. He treated both your children like they were his. How could he do this to you?
He did it anyway.
You get divorced. You think, Why wasn’t I good enough? Slowly, Jeremy starts spending less and less time with his son. You find out his girlfriend is some TopShop heiress. Oh, and surprise! She’s pregnant.
She gives him another child. You’re starting to wonder what you saw in him. Besides those drop-dead sea glass eyes and that knife sharp jawline.
You come to a realization: Now that he’s famous, now that he’s able to pick anyone he wants, he doesn’t want you anymore.
This is a picture of you – your story. Your name is Melissa Meeks.
The lesson here is that there will come a time when you have the ability to choose. It might not happen as dramatically or as publicly as Jeremy and Melissa, but it will happen.
You’ll have the ability to choose. When the time comes, when you have to make a decision, a commitment, you’ll find people don’t think they owe you anything. It’s disappointing. You’ll have waited for someone who didn’t care half as much. You made a one sided commitment.
It hurts. It’s also the truth.
So when you date someone, anyone, make sure they’re not dating you because you’re the first thing they’ve laid eyes on. You make a choice, and you commit to it.
Make sure they’re doing the same.